On November 23, 2019, I was at a campaign house party, networking and establishing connections for several collaborative 2020 election events. While I was asleep, an accidental shot was fired—a 9mm hollow point. Because I was sleeping in the fetal position, the bullet tragically passed through the homeowners' cat, (Rest in Peace, Luna), before entering my left butt cheek. It traveled through my body and had to be surgically removed three weeks later from my right front groin.
The trajectory damaged my rectum, vagina, and bladder, resulting in two major surgeries, one minor surgery, and a grueling year of recovery. I adapted to a colostomy bag (which I affectionately named "Lola") for eight months, a catheter bag for three weeks, and a ten-week recovery for my vagina. They always say it is a remarkably strong muscle—and after taking a 9mm hollow point and returning to absolute perfection, I can officially confirm that is true.
The crazy, full-circle part of this story is that I ended up at HCMC (Hennepin County Medical Center)—the exact hospital where I had once been a student and worked. Going from student, staff member to a patient who had just been shot in the ass meant everyone knew I was there. I also earned the nickname “Cat Lady.” It definitely made for a wild story, but it also taught me that humor truly is the best medicine. I chose to remain positive through the entire ordeal, even when it was incredibly shitty. I've always believed that life is 5% circumstances and 95% attitude, so I chose to maintain the highest perspective.
Four years later on July 13th, Donald Trump survived an assassination attempt. Thirteen has always been my lucky number, and that moment served as a profound confirmation for me. The fact that both Trump and I have been shot makes me feel like we are part of the same spiritual club, here on a shared mission.
Surviving that night completely changed my trajectory and shielded me from the event cancellations of the 2020 lockdowns. Most importantly, it taught me to "never take shit for granted." I knew then, just as I know now, that it wasn't my time to exit this timeline. It is a defining chapter of survival and resilience—one I proudly name: The Time I Took It in the Ass.
P.S. Going through this experience has actually made me an even stronger supporter of the Second Amendment. It taught me firsthand the vital importance of firearm safety. I will never make the mistake of sleeping in an unsafe environment or being around irresponsible gun owners again, and it has given me a whole new level of respect for responsible gun ownership.
⚠️ See pictures at your own risk.
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